just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
two words...techno handjob
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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