i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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