Whod you bang
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
