dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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