i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
