I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize