...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
