There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
