My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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