More tranny stories later!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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