i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize