trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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