got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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