You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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