Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
