3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
thus making me awesome and them whores
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
