Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I feel great

(650): View more from California

I just peed on a car

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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(949): View more from California

im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever

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(816): View more from Missouri

My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

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(972): View more from Texas

On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia

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(307): View more from Wyoming

there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.

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