I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
