dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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