p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i would punch a child for taco bell
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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