people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize