We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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