But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
