Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
