I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
