I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
