I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize