I think I won the penis lottery.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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