I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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