Heybabeimwearingurpanties
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
