Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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