Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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