i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
