halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We have started to decorate penises.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
