I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
