The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
