Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
