i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize