i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm too high and old for this...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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