The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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