he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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