Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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