That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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