life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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