I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
