I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
