Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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