I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize