Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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