I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
