The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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