Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
