break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
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I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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