There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
