As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
