he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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