And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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