I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
