There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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