holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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